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Have you been wondering why at times, people with the best qualifications do not get the job after a competitive job interview with other applicants? Are you tired of been turned down for a job after several job interviews, or are you preparing for a job interview?
On the blog today, I am doing something different. I am giving away a chapter of my course Job interview made easy out to you to help answer some questions about the tips and tricks of every job interview.
Objectives of the Study
I left my formal job for a National assignment, and when it was time to get a replacement for my position, my boss and his friend (management team) had two candidates interviewed on my last day at work. When I asked for the outcome of the interview process, he told me that none of the interviewees was qualified for the position. After a while again, I called to know about the latest for that position. I was shocked when he said they had not gotten any replacement. I asked to know if people were not turning up for the interview exercise, and he said that the people coming cannot keep ordinary conversation. Absurd right? The truth remains, good conversation is relevant in every interview procedure.
An interview is a formal discussion with someone for an evaluation. An interviewer and the interviewee will get the most out of a job interview when it feels more like a conversation and less like an interrogation. Ask questions to help the interview feels more like a conversation but do this only when necessary.
It is natural to feel nervous in a new situation. Walking into an interview session where you see only strange faces can be a daunting task. It's important here to understand that almost everyone is nervous when facing a room full of strangers. This can become easier if you know what to do. Developing a bag of tricks can help get you through some of those situations. These tricks are learnable, and you will going to learn ample of them here in this Exercise.
Conversation is the use of speech for informal exchange of views, ideas or information, etc. It's a necessary skill to learn to develop strong relationships with others. Whether you're an introvert (a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their thoughts) or an extrovert (sociable person who is lively and outgoing), the ability to start and maintain a good conversation is essential for networking and forming strong bonds with your colleagues. It's natural for some people to initiate and keep a conversation so easily. For others, it's a difficult task with strangers like the people you will meet during your interview session.
When you can engage in conversations with ease, people not only see you as personable and approachable, but you may end up making a lasting connection that will help your career.
To develop meaningful relationships, you have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is a good conversation. Bernardo J. Carducci, a professor of psychology and director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, told The Venture. “Every big business deal, every wonderful romance, starts with a conversation.”
Importance of a good conversation
Conversation cuts across every discipline, and it does not only found importance in an interview. It forms an integral part of every business, relationship, home, and even human existence. A conversation has different components to which, asking questions form part.
It seems that people are largely unaware that asking questions has social benefits needed in getting you a job. New Harvard University Research shows that people who ask questions during conversation are liked more by the person in conversation with them. This will make you more likely to get hired or promoted as it may be. The conversation is a fundamental human experience, one that is necessary to pursue intrapersonal and interpersonal goals across myriad contexts, relationships, and modes of communication. Every single person needs conversations that can be within his/herself or with others. A conversation is important to pass information around and to achieve goals.
A 2010 study by the University of Michigan found that passing the time of day with colleagues with interaction can improve our cognitive functions in the same way brain-teasing exercises do. When we open ourselves up to a discussion of new ideas and opinions even ones that we disagree with we get a deeper understanding of topics and issues that we might otherwise take for granted. That is, it deepens our understanding of things. Conversation gives you social support. Whether you talk to your friends, colleagues, and family members for information-sharing, advice-giving, or to vent, this process helps you put things in perspective that helps build your resilience and cope better when things go against your plan. Many job interviewers in the field will love to have a proper conversation with the interviewee rather than having a boring and interrogative kind of interview. Unfortunately, most job applicants do not know how to keep this conversation flowing.
In summary,
conversation creates connection,
The lifeblood of relationship,
Sparkles ideas and helps you grow,
It forces you to articulate and offers you a sense of value,
It helps you to discover new things.
Elements of a good conversation
During a conversation with others, you use several elements in the conversation. Understanding these allows you to better control the conversation and ensure the other person can respond. There are four (4) key elements that are valuable to a good human-human conversation. These are:
Mutual understanding and common ground:
This is the ability to find a common ground through conversation. This is achieved when the intent, meaning, and nuances are understood; sometimes through getting to know others more by asking relevant questions.
Trustworthiness: Trustworthiness has been said to be the foundation to grow common ground between people.
Active listening: It’s important for conversationalists to continuously demonstrate that they are paying attention and willing to participate in the conversation. People are aware when their conversation partner is engaged.
Humor: It tends to be the driver of conversation when it has some substance and relevance to the topic. It keeps the conversation partner engaged.
A good conversationalist knows how and when to use these elements. We will show you how to become a good conversationalist whether you're an introvert or extrovert. Conversationalists are easily liked by people.
How to Become a Good Conversationalist
There is nothing that kills conversation as fast as not having listening ears. All good conversationalists are good listeners. The act of listening is the fertile ground that nourishes every conversation. Listening is so important in conversation that we'll have to take a whole session of this course discussing it.
According to former Harvard president Charles W. Eliot, There is no mystery about successful business intercourse . . . Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that. Giving someone rapt attention can be so flattery.
Generally, humans have the inherent nature to discuss the things that are of best interest to them. Pay attention to what people always ask for or always wanting to do, these are the things that interest them. It's not a surprising thing to know that everyone would love to talk about his/herself or talk about his/her interest.
One of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to starting a conversation is that they wait for the conversation to be started by the other person. Every conversation starts with a talk that can be initiated by anyone. It could just be a simple compliment or making observations. Most people would love to expand their ego and tell more about their selves and interest when given the chance and have interested listeners. You must not have to dominate conversation before you become a good conversationalist. Listen with interest and let the other person do the talks, it works magic.
Mono-syllabic responses trail conversation into awkward pauses that eventually becomes a monologue rather than a dialogue. Always avoid such responses in your conversations be it an interview or any other form of conversation.
If you want to become a good conversationalist, consider the following rules:
*Note that these rules are general rules and there are not only applicable to interview discussion.
Be genuinely interested in the person.
Understanding who the person is, what’s on his/her mind, the things he/she enjoys doing, or what motivates or interests him/her in life should be greatly considered.
Having a genuine interest is essential to have a great conversation. Even if you apply every other rule, the conversation cannot flow well without showing interest in the other person.
Don't argue or tell someone that he or she is wrong during a conversation.
A conversation is a discussion to share opinions, interests, passions, etc., and not a ground for arguments. If you want to have a good conversation or want to be a good conversationalist, never tell whomever you're conversing with that he/she is wrong. There are usually better ways to correct people. This is not only important in an interview but also every sort of conversation. Even if you're already where he's headed, don't interrupt him, enable him to land on his own. Let him enjoy the freedom of expressing his/herself freely and fully.
Respect. Don’t impose, criticize, or judge.
In as much as you should express your own opinion, respect each other’s point of view. Please don't force your opinion on them. Remember, everyone has the right to be him/herself, just as you have the right to be yourself.
Put the person in his/her best light.
Always look for ways to make the person look or sound good. Give credit where credit it's due. Recognize talent where you see it. Praise where appropriate. Allow the person to shine in his/her light. A lot of people don’t recognize their ability and it’s up to you to help them do that. Be their guide; be their conduit to love.
Ask purposeful questions.
Questions elicit answers. The kind of questions you ask will steer the direction of the conversation. To have a meaningful conversation with the other person, ask meaningful questions. Choose questions like, “What drives you in life?”, “What are your goals for this year?” and “What inspired you to make this change?” Some people may not be ready to think about conscious questions and that’s fine. Start with simple, everyday questions as you build a rapport with him/her. Then, get to know him/her better through deeper questions, when you think he/she is ready to share.
Give praises and be truthful in your praises: Remember that some people only need interested listeners to expand their ego.
Let's carefully study as we look at this case study.
One morning years ago, an angry customer stormed into the office of Julian F. Detmer, founder of the Detmer Woollen Company, which later became the world’s largest distributor of woolen to the tailoring trade. ‘This man owed us a small sum of money,’ Mr. Detmer explained to me. ‘The customer denied it, but we knew he was wrong. So our credit department had insisted that he pay. After getting several letters from our credit department, he packed his grip, made a trip to Chicago, and hurried into my office to inform me not only that he was not going to pay that bill, but that he was never going to buy another dollar’s worth of goods from the Detmer
Woollen Company. ‘I listened patiently to all he had to say. I was tempted to interrupt, but I realized that would be bad policy. So I let him talk himself out. When he finally simmered down and got in a receptive mood, I said quietly: “I want to thank you for coming to Chicago to tell me about this. You have done me a great favor, for if our credit department has annoyed you, it may annoy other good customers, and that would be just too bad. Believe me, I am far more eager to hear this than you are to tell it. ”‘That was the last thing in the world he expected me to say. I think he was a trifle disappointed, because he had come to Chicago to tell me a thing or two, but here I was thanking him instead of scrapping with him. I assured him we would wipe the charge off the books and forget it because he was a very careful man with only one account to look after, while our clerks had to look after thousands. Therefore, he was less likely to be wrong than we were. ‘I told him that I understood exactly how he felt and that, if I were in his shoes, I should undoubtedly feel precisely as he did. Since he wasn’t going to buy from us anymore, I recommended some other woolen houses. ‘In the past, we had usually lunched together when he came to Chicago, so I invited him to have lunch with me this day. He accepted reluctantly, but when we came back to the office he placed a larger order than ever before.
He returned home in a softened mood and, wanting to be just as fair with us as we had been with him, looked over his bills, found one had been mislaid and sent us a cheque with his apologies.
‘Later, when his wife presented him with a baby boy, he gave his son the middle name of Detmer, and he remained a friend and customer of the house until his death twenty-two years afterward.’
This angry customer was given the whole attention he was craving for and that got him the feeling of importance, he felt was important and that was a whole lot to him. Interested listening is core in every communication, it settles disputes and wins us friendship. This customer was never interrupted when pouring out his anger, he was listened to, flattered, got praises instead of criticisms which has lead to not just paying the debt but also buying more and a lifetime friendship.
The United States' 26th President, Theodore Roosevelt was considered to be a good conversationalist. How did he achieve that? If Roosevelt is having a visitor, he used the night to study the person and the things that interest him or her. This made a him great conversationalist because he used the results of his finding to talk in the interest of his visitor.
Extracted from the course: Job Interview Made Easy
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